- My final thesis statement was, “The distortion of our perception by personal and cultural traditions and ideas. Our mental capacity for empathy is so small that it is a pick and choose of who is the most deserving of “my” empathy. The need to feel better about ourselves by receiving it or giving it.” Through my thesis statement you are able to clearly understand my stance on empathy and what the main points I was trying to prove were. There isn’t much evidence as I figured adding some might over complicate my wrapping up of my essay. I do now realize that I could’ve added some by referencing the authors one last time or something along those lines. I also think that one other weakness I had was that I made my thesis into many short sentences along with the rest of my conclusion. I could’ve possibly made a way to make it flow better and be a little less choppy. But I do think that I did a good job of getting my points across and summarizing them with my ideas.
- One thing I learned was to fully appreciate the editing process. Most of the time when I am writing a piece or even just writing a paragraph, I tend to only go over it for spelling errors and then just hit submit hoping it is good enough. But through this writing process, we were pushed to go in depth and really explore all editing methods. We did this through peer review, the TRIAC paragraph, our introduction workshop, and even the thesis workshop. All these methods helped me revise my essay into its final draft, which I am proud of. Something I was reminded of is that it is okay to put in my own opinions and personal experience. Something always felt off in the past when I wanted to provide a personal opinion on a question, especially when I didn’t ask for it. But I like how it gets the reader to challenge their opinions and lets them get a better idea of where I am coming from and why when I attempt to prove my main ideas.
- The aspect of revision I focused on most was really making sure I had all my sources integrated, and integrated properly. This includes my personal experience. I wanted them all to flow together and not have to much or to less of the other. To do so I added another quote from a text that we read previously, The Limits of Friendship by Maria Konnikova. This added another point of view on empathy and tied back to a previously made point by my other source DFW. It lets the reader know that not only am I thinking one way, but so are two other people in world renowned texts. I also added a couple of descriptive sentences of my ideas and how I perceived one of my claims. I was able to further explain the point I was trying to prove in my claim without adding to much of my own voice. I feel like by doing so I was able to balance out my quote heavy paragraphs with my voice and my personal experience paragraphs with quotes.
- My approach to the next paper is definitely broader now that we have completed our first essay. For pre-reading and annotating, I now know to highlight the ideas in the text that either I agree with, question, want to understand further, or am opposed to. Whatever makes me feel something strong could possibly be used in this future essay. During the drafting process I know that it is okay for it to be messy and a little all over the place, but as long as I have structure and can figure out where I want to include personal experience and quotes, I’ll be set for the review/editing process. In that process I can approach it confidently as I now am not nervous to give or receive feedback. Through new methods, I know what structures to look for in my writing as well as my peers. I will go into the next paper confident that I can produce a well polished piece as long as I can balance my thoughts and evidence while being able to follow my beginning claim. As apposed to me being nervous going into the first essay as I didn’t know what the criteria was other than including evidence and personal experience to explain my thesis.
Essay Reflection
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